Habits and NaBloPoMo

I have dubbed November the month of habits. I want to start writing more, so I will be publishing every day this month. Also, I will be trying to do the working closet on Flickr. My biggest challenge is 3x a week at the gym. I can do all this…I just need to schedule the time.

Welcome to my life!

Welcome! I have a feeling that many of you may be visiting here for the first time. I’m not a writer, I’m not a mom…I’m just a 38 year old single gal living in the big city. Most of what will find here are random musings about my life. I’m a plus sized gal, so I will talk about my struggles with weight. I love clothes, shoes and makeup, so I will chat about that too. I love my family, my crazy friends and my birthday! Please come back and visit…I promise you some snarkiness, some hilarity and some downright stupidity at times.

Yes…I do still have a blog

After spending the last three days socializing and being crazy…I am now thinking about the week ahead.  Before I go charging off into another crazy week at work, I just wanted to put a quick hello and push the my last post from October down a bit. 

I hope that some folks drop by.  I know the posting here is sketchy.  I am going to try and do better…but if I don’t, please make sure to follow me on Twitter.  I’m @chemgk and I usually have a lot to say about nothing. 

I’m going to write a post about all the great people I met at BlogHer and my crazy fun weekend, but I do need to get to bed.  I decided I will save that for work tomorrow, since I probably won’t feel like doing much!

Another sick day

So, I stayed home again today.  I am running a fever still and was just feeling out of sorts.  Also, I haven’t been able to take my medication over the last couple of days and I am starting to feel the effects.  I notice that I am gritting my teeth, getting pissed off over nothing and crying for no apparent reason.  Somedays I feel abnormal, but the reality is that there are many more people worse off than me.

Rambling on a Tuesday

I have been stuck in my house for the last two days with some evil sort of stomach bug.  I am hating it.  I don’t like being non-functional.  It’s one thing to lay your lazy ass on the couch for two days, it’s completely another to not be able to get out of bed.  Yesterday was spent completely in bed (other than the trips to the bathroom and to get some water) and sleeping.  I think I spent a total of 5 hours awake.  Today was a little better.  Smells still make my stomach turn, but I have been able to keep down some toast, a baked potato and I’m going to try some mac and cheese.  I have napped a little today, but not slept the day away like yesterday. 

I’m hoping that this little stomach battle has created some weight loss.  I have been really slacking in the WW arena.  I am an emotional eater and my emotions have been on a serious rollercoaster lately.  I have been the person who always has the happy face on.  Even though I am snarky and bitter about my job, I never really let people know how unhappy that I really am.  Let’s just say that I am not happy right now…but I can’t exactly put my finger on why.  I think it is an accumulation of many little things.  So, I am working on one thing at a time.  Eventually I will return to my happy-go-lucky self.

Seriously?!

My boss told me that she never said something she said.  She lies like this constantly and of course I get blamed for it.  Why do I torture myself?

More Stuff

On Monday nights I take a glass bead making class.  The class has become more interesting and I have had a chance to talk to more of my classmates.  It just seems like we are in school and it’s rush, rush, rush to accomplish everything.  I was hoping for a more laid back atmosphere.  My job is kind of crazy, because I am a support department, so most of the time when people contact me…they need something from me.  I wanted something very laid back, without a lot of time constraints…and that is not this class.  Don’t get me wrong…I do enjoy it and I’m considering taking another class when this is done…but it’s very restrictive.  I know that I only need to get through about another 6 months of classes and I can purchase my own studio time, but I forgot what it was like to be in such a structured environment. 

Which takes me to the grad school discussion…if I can’t stand the structure of one art class, how am I going to be able to stand to take a semester long grad school class?  University of Phoenix is sounding more and more interesting to me.  I don’t have to go to a class room and sit quietly and patiently while some guy rambles on about how much he knows.  I can log on when I have time, work on my assignments and make my daily comments in the disscussion forums.  I think this might be the way to go.  Tonight’s agenda consists of laundry and researching the Health Management Program.  Off we go!

Life in a Nutshell

Wow, this has been a crazy last few months.  I don’t even know what happened to the summer.  I have babbled a lot on twitter, but just haven’t had the energy or patience to really post anything.  I have been feeling quite boohoo, whoa is me, etc.  So, I decided to keep it to myself. 

Work has been quite tension-filled and I’m trying to decide if I hate my job, if I am bored or if I am just in the wrong field.  I don’t think I truely hate my job, I’m just not happy and I can’t put my finger on why.  I think part of it is all these arbitrary rules that are placed on me and I don’t really like that.  I am sort of bitter about it and it doesn’t make for a productive work environment. 

Personal life has been quite icky.  I am really sick of spending Saturday nights home alone, but I just can’t seem to get up the nerve to ask someone I am interested in to do something.  I’m really quite a chicken sh*t in that manor. 

To add to the list, my professor/ mentor/ friend passed away from Pancreatic cancer 3 weeks ago.  I’m still trying to accept it, mull it over, make it real.  I went to the funeral, watched him buried, but I still feel like if I call his office, I’m going to hear his voice.  He was a great professor and man.  I’m going to miss him dearly.  There have been tears off and on over the last few weeks.  It seems silly, seeing that his lovely wife lost her spouse and his children lost their father, but I am weeping for my loss of a mentor and friend.  I feel very selfish and guilty about the whole thing, but I can’t help but feel sad for the loss. 

So, that’s what has been going on in my life.  Pretty boring.

Friends

So, what is the deal with people.  I guess for the first time in my life I am being excluded and I’m not really sure why.  I guess I have offended some people, but I don’t know exactly what I did.  I’m guessing that someone I thought was my friend has been repeating some stuff that I talked to her about.  I was asking her opinion on how to handle a situation I was uncomfortable with and I have a feeling that she shared that conversation with others.

I feel like I’m back in high school and people are forming little cliques and excluding people.  It’s just very strange and I really don’t know what to do with it.  I hated that bullshit in high school and I hate it now.  I’ve never been one to have only one group of friends that I hang out with.  I hang out with all kinds of people and I try to include everyone.  I was this way in high school and I am still this way now.  I’m angry and frustrated.

Shut Up Brain

So, another late evening for me.  I can’t seem to get my brain to shut off at the appropriate time.  I have so much on my mind and more just keeps getting added to it.  I am tired and I just don’t know how much longer I can function.  There is so much to say, but I can’t seem to get the words to come together.  I think I’m going to free write until I fall asleep and hope that something comes out.